daughter of IAM

Every morning I wake up,

The most important decision I have to make is;

To talk or not to talk?

I mean,

Everyone says put yourself out there,

No one will know you if you don’t put yourself out.

And that’s quite true.

What’s also true for me is,

By putting myself out there,

I put myself in the danger of being misunderstood and making blunders.

So every morning I wake up,

I have to decide which will work better for me.

Every morning,

In making a decision to talk,

I have to be prepared for the embarrassments that come with it.

And I have to start obsessing about it

.

You see,

I love talking with people and making friends.

But, you also see,

Before talking to someone, I ask myself a trillion questions,

Sometimes and most times,

I convince myself meeting people is not worth it,

I mean, have you met me!?

I’m good enough on my own,

(But Then, am I?)

My inner voice has become more of a monster,

Too notorious to be drowned by any other voice,

This is something I have to deal with every day,

Every day I have to decide,

If writing is my thing, I wonder if I’m any good at it

But it’s my thing, so for days when somehow I'm convinced I suck at writing,

I write a great piece the next day.

I’m not perfect,

But I want to be

 because nothing sucks as much as self-doubt

I wonder how I got here.

So when you see me on the road, walking with a grim face,

I’m not being a snob,

I’m just, fighting the monster

I created with my mind.

p.s, the picture was taken in my final year during rehearsals for a stage drama.